Control Freak

Dr. Mike 2023, , ,

1 Corinthians 9:25

Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

Psalm 143:10

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!

Do you focus on the things you cannot control?

Do you have a strong desire to control the people and environment around you rather than your emotions?

When working on a team, do you have to dictate everyone’s behavior?

Do you believe you know what is best for everyone and make people act a certain way?

Do you focus your time and energy on preventing bad things to happen because of your hidden doubt to manage difficult situations?

Do you find it difficult to delegate tasks? If you do, than do you insist on micromanaging every step of the way?

If you answer yes to any of these, you may be a control freak. As a reformed control addict, I know. I’ve been there. Done it. And have the scars to show.

In my early twenties, still single, and the world my play-box, I struggled to relate with people in the workplace. I was very task-oriented. People were the means to the end. In other words, my self-centered approach was to use people for the things I wanted to do. I egotistically knew best. If you worked for me, it was my way or the highway. It wasn’t pretty.

But, through the grace of God, HE opened my eyes. I repented from the sinful approach of being a dictator of others. Instead, I learn to trust God and His Spirit. I learn to delegate without strings attached. The end result was learning to lead people and manage systems.

How does one learn to best lead others?

The best way is to learn from others. We start first with your relationship with the Triune God. How does He lead you? When He delegates an assignment to you? Does He generally give you specific details in how to carry it out? Or does He simple nudge you in a certain way and allow you to express your personality and skill set? Does He force you to comply? Or does He allow you to choose?

When you have a working relationship with the living God, you learn from Him. You experience the fruit of mutual submission. You learn the importance of self-control over controlling others. You learn to give space for others to reflect God’s character in them. You allow people to become who God created them to be. You take part with Him and others in their adventurous journey of transformation in Christ.

Yes, being a control freak reduces your potential as a person. You rob yourself from fully experiencing the power of trusting God. You weaken your relationship with Him. Faith becomes only a word. You isolate yourself from allowing God’s Spirit to fully transform you into His image. You end up fighting against Him. You hurt yourself in the process. You also hurt those whom you love.

When you force people to submit to your whims, you also rob God the opportunity to fully express His character through them. You play god. You become an idol. You are stealing from Him. You are preventing people around you to become the person God created them to be.

I also had the opportunity to work for two gentlemen who taught me the godly way of balancing relationships with business outcomes. They exercised integrity and character in all their relationships. God knew what I needed at the time and provided the environment and means to change my ways.

Yes, we are all broken. Some more than others. But broken still. So when God’s Spirit opens your eyes to see yourself in the mirror of Jesus, don’t hesitate. Repent. Ask Him to show you and empower you to become more like Him. This includes admitting our sins, weaknesses, and shortcomings. It hurts the pride meter. But this is good. When you allow His Spirit full entrance into your heart and mind, you will begin to experience more of God’s fruit. Yes, there will be stumbles. There will be short-term failure. But the road leads to Him.

With Him, you become less of a control freak and more of a trusting comrade working with Him to extend His Kingdom. You will more fully grasp the love of God. You will work along with the Holy Spirit. You will align His purpose with your micro plans to live a full, abiding life in Christ. And you will enrich the lives of others along the way.     

Yes, when I became a Jesus freak, I waved goodbye being a control freak.

Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Faith-Integrator, Encourager, Scribbler

“We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,” (Colossians 1:9)

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