Making Marriage Work

Hebrews 13:4

Marriage should be honored by all…

A recent poll by Time magazine revealed that twenty-five percent of millennials are likely never to marry and only six percent wanted a traditional marriage. The remaining majority either will choose to live together out of wedlock or remain single. On the other side, only six percent of married couples make it to their 50th anniversary.

Marriage, from a worldly view, is often looked at as a social construct rather than a God-ordained institution. As a Christ-follower though, marriage is the bedrock for social stability and spiritual growth. Within the partnership of another and Christ the center, one learns more effectively how to relate, work, and enjoy the richness of life from God’s perspective.

The Creator Being of the universe designed marriage for our good. However, people, like everything else we touch without God’s knowledge, have the tenancy to pervert and destroy what is good.

When two people grow together and become one, the relationship is a foretaste of the relationship lived out by our Triune God. God is Father-Son-Spirit in community with himself. One God consisting of three persons. The ideal marriage likewise is a threesome community relationship consisting of a man, woman, and God. A threefold cord not easily broken.    

I have the privilege of spending time with several men whose marriages are almost as long as I am old. They gladly share their successes and failures learning to become better husbands and fathers with others. The below are some Biblical high-points which they reiterate more often with the younger men in our group.  Like most of them admit, they view these items from the rear-view mirror of life which is twenty-twenty vision. They only wish they had learned them much earlier in life.

The most important value which they all agree is being sure Jesus Christ is the center of both husband and wife and family affairs. When HE is the base of operations, there is an agreement in values and life purpose. Everything flows from there.

And just as important, marriage is a life-long commitment. The only way it ends is at death. With that understanding, both sides are in it for the long haul. They realize commitment is a Godly standard as HE has demonstrated over and over again HIS commitment to us. The Bible is loaded with examples where HE is always faithful to HIS people no matter what happens. He is always there restoring the relationship no matter how stupid we may behave. He is there for the long haul.

To stay committed, requires that both sides continue to communicate openly and honestly with each other. In the early years of their marriage, they would hide behind their fears. But as the two grew together, they learn to share and be transparent with each other. To accept the other for what God has designed and help the other person to become what GOD wants with them became their motivation. They want their marriage to be a witness for others how God behaves and acts in doing good work.

Of course, a majority of time communications will be about compromising one’s position for what is best for each other and the whole family. There will be battles, arguments, and heated exchange at times, but knowing each are committed to make the relationship work, will end with both sides reaching a mutual agreement. Both sides will take turns to sacrifice. Both sides will also pursue their goals. The outcome may not be ideal, but they will be glad to work it out together for the mutual benefit of all.

One of the biggest compromises will be about cash – how is the money going to flow. Who earns it, who controls it, and how it is going to be spent? The earlier this is resolved, the quicker and easier the marriage will prosper.

Another compromise will be about children. Again, the more honestly discussed upfront, the less surprises later in the marriage.

Lastly, find a faith community to keep each of you accountable to each other and family. When you live life with others within the faith community, you witness lives being transformed by Jesus Christ and you are constantly reminded what life’s endgame is all about. You and your children develop friendships and have a safe space to socialize with others who accept you and your values.

Marriage is hard work. Yet these men would do it all over again. Their only regret is learning the hard way. They wish someone would have shared what they know now with others. Hopefully, these words may help you in your marriage walk with God and your spouse as you live out your purpose serving God and others in preparation for life now and tomorrow’s new age.

Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Encourager & Author of e-Books

 *  Dancing With God: Life-Giving Theology Explained
 *  Great Business Emulates a Good God
 *  Be Radical…Follow Christ!
 *  Simply The Messenger
 *  Unequally Married

Encourage a Friend…Share Today’s Message!

Copyright 2013-Present | Abbaco LLC | All Rights Reserved

30 is the Number

Proverbs 5:18 (NASB)

Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth.

thirty 1

From the Bible we find examples of the number thirty. Rabbi Dr. Hillel ben David in his article “The Significance of the Number Thirty” demonstrates the significance and ways “thirty” is showcased in the Bible. They include:

  • Thirty represents reconciliation at a higher level
  • Thirty was the age of strength
  • Thirty was the age one began their mission
  • Thirty days is a period of mourning for someone special
  • Thirty days is the totality of the moon’s lunar cycle
  • Thirty is a time of transition

Whatever the significance of thirty may or may not represent, the lesson for us married men is to invest in our relationship each and every day. In today’s, fast paced, convenient culture, time to buildup each other and strengthen relationships are sometimes (if not most the time) given second fiddle in our orchestra. So, one good game plan to implement each and every day is take the number ‘thirty’ to a whole higher level.

What if we would invest at least thirty-minutes of prayer time with our Lord in the morning, plus a thirty-minute one-on-one talk with our spouse, followed with a thirty-second hug with her each day? What impact would that employ to keep your marriage alive and strong for the long term?

We all get busy at times and usually our relationships suffer. This may be a simple method for those of us who are super active and need the discipline to make time for the real important people in life. It has worked wonders for over thirty-five years with my marriage. And I’m sure it will for you.

Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Encourager & Founder of
Vocational Leadership 360
Author of e-Books:

Dancing With God: Life-Giving Theology Explained
Great Business Emulates a Good God
Be Radical…Follow Christ!
Simply The Messenger
Unequally Married

Encourage a Friend…Share Today’s Message!

Copyright 2013-2018 Abbaco LLC | All Rights Reserved

Marriage, Dancing, Daytrading

” What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.” Ecclesiastes 3:9-13 ESV

marriage 1

dancing 2

daytrade 1

The best things I learn about life and walking with God comes through marriage, dancing, and daytrading.

Marriage is the platform that introduces me to self-sacrificial love and mutual submission. The same love that Jesus demonstrated through his life is put in practice everyday within the marriage relationship. The same attitude the apostle Paul writes about is likewise tested each day within the bounds of marriage. Marriage cultivates the fruit of godliness within a relationship when Christ is the center of the two. If I can’t make it work in marriage, how do I make it work elsewhere?

Ballroom dancing teaches me to lead others by mutually working together focused on the same goal. Whether we are dancing the foxtrot, waltz, or polka, two people expressing themselves through the rhythm of the music in unison is a joy to behold. Though typically one leads (the male in most circles), when professionals dance, the lead role may switch without the casual outsiders even recognizing the difference. In my early dancing attempts as a young man, I had many a widow move me around the dance floor. They knew I wasn’t ready to lead. I was happy just to learn. Later in life, I learned that there is a time to lead and a time to let the other lead. Insecurity and control are the demons that prevents one from truly experiencing the joy of following the lead of the Spirit in one’s life. Dancing teaches me the joy of mutual leadership.

Daytrading the stock market involves risk and reward built upon reality, repentance, and boundaries. To trade successfully, one needs to recognize what they may not initially see. That the market is greater than any one person and deserves a high amount of respect. Realizing its power, we need to change our thinking towards it. We need to relearn everything we think we may know about it. In a sense, we need to repent and believe in its possibilities. In the process, we need to develop boundaries that protect us from harm but yet allows us to experience the fruit of success. The trade masters from yesterday have much to say what it takes to manage our relationship with this mighty beast. For some this beast is cruel and mean robbing them of their livelihood. For others, the beast is a rewarder of those who praise and respect its might learning to live within its boundaries. I chose the latter. Like God, when one grasps His reality, repents and changes their thinking about Him, and learns to walk within His Divine boundaries, life becomes immeasurable more than just breathing, eating, and sleeping.

Now you know why I am always reminded how awesome our Triune God is whenever the subject of marriage, dancing, and daytrading come up. How about you? What activities make God come alive in your life?

Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Founder & Executive Director
Marketplace Bible Institute
& Resource Center, Inc
Author of e-Books:
* Great Business Emulates a Good God
* Be Radical…Follow Christ!
* Simply The Messenger
* Unequally Married