Sexuality Trap

Hebrews 13:4

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Yes, God created sex. Not only did HE create the biological male and female, but also the physical and emotional pleasure and enjoyment of the act. Like everything else HE designed, sex also has a purpose within HIS plan. Now God is not prudish but understands human behavior and emotion since HE purposely designed us with the sexual desire in place.

Now many of us in the 21st century erroneously believe freedom means choosing and doing whatever we desire. Yes, freedom gives you the option to choose whatever you desire, but each choice also has consequences. A choice that leads you to your destruction stills allows you to exercise your freedom, but the end result may remove any further freedom you possess.

The Bible instructs us how sex without Godly boundaries leads to a self-imposed dark hole. But on the other hand, sex with healthy boundaries leads to freedom of expression, intimacy, and fulfillment. Our human mind often finds difficulty in understanding this concept between freedom and boundaries especially when it involves our personal satisfaction.

For example, God’s desire is to have a personal relationship with you. He has provided the means, historical evidence, and reward system to make us aware of HIS intentions. Yet, many choose to refrain from sharing life with HIM. He created the human procreation method for more people to have the opportunity to invest life with HIM. HE even designed sexual intimacy between a man and woman as an example of the love HE wants to share with each of us.

The Hebrew Bible over 900 times refers to this intimacy as Yada – intimately knowing. The Bible in Genesis uses this phrase when a couple are having sexual relations as Adam yada Eve. In Psalms, King David expresses this phrase multiple times as being in a state of yada with God. Yada typically expresses the covenant bond between two parties. This covenant bond is found within a Biblical Christian marriage. The marriage commitment between a man and woman creates the safe space for two people to experience the yada relationship between each other and the relationship God has for us.

The sexuality trap is separating God from sex. When God is left out of the relationship, so are the morals and boundaries of human expression. The trap is sprung when sex becomes a commodity only to satisfy one’s desire rather than an intimate time to share oneself authentically with another. When the sex act becomes an addiction of pleasing one’s emotional cravings, one has sold themselves to the slavery of sin. One has lost the freedom found in true love and buried themselves into the pornographic virtual world of make believe. Again, when one becomes chained in the prison of sin, their best hope is found in the grace of God and HIS teachings on eternal values.

God’s covenant love expressed through HIS relationship with the people of Israel and HIS church set’s us the important example of the sexual encounter. Through the sexual act we come to intimately know someone. God’s covenant with HIS people is HIM giving 100% of HIMSELF in relationship with us so we can come to know HIM better. Not 50%-50%; not 80%-20%, but 100%. HE is constantly giving 100% of HIMSELF into the relationship.

Many of us humans operate within marriage from a contractual viewpoint. If the other side doesn’t fulfill their part of the contract, we believe it gives us an out. So, we divorce and move on to the next relationship to repeat the process over again. But God’s covenant agreement is not contractual, but one sided. In a successful marriage, each side is giving 100% of themselves to the other.

God created us as sexual beings so we can have a taste of HIS desire for us. HE yearns for us to come and know HIM – to yada HIM as HE yada us. Likewise, our human sexual desire imitates HIS desire for us. To freely share the sexual experience solely with another person committed to the relationship until death do us part leads to coming to know more who God IS and HIS love for us.

Having multiple sexual encounters is like worshiping multiple gods. When you choose the one Triune God and only worship HIM, you embarked on an adventurous, joyous journey. However, when you chase after false idols, you experience the frustration and disappointment of never finding your one true love. 

Enjoying sex outside the committed relationship of marriage is falling into the trap of slavery to sin. Sin is living outside of God’s created order of real harmony where true freedom, flourishment, and fulfillment is found. Real abundant living includes a healthy expression of sexuality between two people in a committed relationship for life. There they learn and experience the joyous meaning of Yada.

The God-ordained institution of marriage when fully understood and practiced according to the covenant principal of yada leads to real freedom, flourishment, and fulfillment. The results are good for couples, children, and society as a whole. But when sex is extracted outside of marriage, and God is removed from the relationship, sex becomes a discounted-store commodity. What was designed for two people to experience life to the fullest becomes an uncontrollable addiction leading to pain and misery in the long-term.

This is why the writer of Hebrews emphasized that the marriage relationship is a higher honor and value than just having sexual encounters with uncommitted bedfellows. Don’t be fooled by the lies and traps of culture. Learn what God recommends. You will be pleasantly at awe by the outcome.


Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Encourager & Author of e-Books 

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Substructures of Love

Matthew 19:4-6

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So, they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Everything God created HE made from HIS inner character which includes the manifestation of love. HE created the universe because Love wanted a family to encircle the Triune God. He selected the planet earth and inhabited the third rock from the sun with various forms of life. He created a precise and interrelated world which would sustain human life.

When HE came to create man and woman, the planet was ready for them. So, HE created the first human in HIS image. Therefore, mankind reflects his Creator. God’s attributes are revealed through the thoughts, imagination, and actions of each person. Though each person only has a limited portion of HIS attributes, collectively they reveal who God IS.

Along the way though, us humans also discovered the power of choice. When we choose wisely after the character of our Creator, life works out for the better. However, when we choose contrary to the Master Designer, the outcome is opposite HIS character. The Bible defines the outcome as sin.

God reveals HIS important values by HIS actions as HE relates with others. When the first humans disobeyed HIS one and only command, their continence changed as they tasted a side of God without the character to manage the experience. Instead of trusting God to determine what is good and evil, they will now discover for themselves through trial and error. The result is a broken world constantly shifting between good and evil by the choice humans make.

From the beginning of time, two of the substructures put in place which demonstrates God’s love is found in marriage and family. God’s ordain form of marriage is between a man and woman. As Jesus stated, when married the two become one flesh. The apostle Paul latter wrote this same picture also highlights the mysterious relationship between Jesus and the Church.

When a man and woman enter marriage, they begin a monogamous relationship where they learn the importance and value of persevering commitment and sacrificial love. The Biblical examples are displayed between God and Israel. No matter how often the people of Israel disobeyed and rebelled, God continued HIS covenant with them. Israel may have often failed in the relationship, but God always performed HIS part of the relationship.

The family is also God’s way for building up a social network which is good for both the individual and community. Social studies have likewise demonstrated the value of having a two-parent family to raise children and being the overall structure best produces successful, healthy, and contributing individuals into society.

God didn’t expect everyone to marry and have children. There are those who are happy and productive being single and maintain healthy relationships with others. They learn the importance of commitment and love through their everyday relationships. However, marriage and family allow a greater blessing for children and the more demanding process of maturity growth between couples.

As this world tries to figure out a better way of living than what God has already ordained and proven over time, those of us who practice Judeo-Christian values already have seen, practiced, and witness the joy and fulfillment of living God’s “old-fashion” ways. Earth’s first parents stepped outside of God’s instructions and paid a heavy price. Some of us keep thinking we can outsmart God. I myself, admit having tried many times to outwit God, but I have always repented and turned back to HIM.

Over time, I have also learned HIS ways are better than any man or woman has developed since the beginning of time. So therefore, I am blessed beyond measure; not because of my brain trust, but because of my willingness to follow the God-Man who made all this possible for me. I hope you see the same. For then it would be a better world for everyone to live in.  

Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Encourager & Author of e-Books 

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Making Marriage Work

Hebrews 13:4

Marriage should be honored by all…

A recent poll by Time magazine revealed that twenty-five percent of millennials are likely never to marry and only six percent wanted a traditional marriage. The remaining majority either will choose to live together out of wedlock or remain single. On the other side, only six percent of married couples make it to their 50th anniversary.

Marriage, from a worldly view, is often looked at as a social construct rather than a God-ordained institution. As a Christ-follower though, marriage is the bedrock for social stability and spiritual growth. Within the partnership of another and Christ the center, one learns more effectively how to relate, work, and enjoy the richness of life from God’s perspective.

The Creator Being of the universe designed marriage for our good. However, people, like everything else we touch without God’s knowledge, have the tenancy to pervert and destroy what is good.

When two people grow together and become one, the relationship is a foretaste of the relationship lived out by our Triune God. God is Father-Son-Spirit in community with himself. One God consisting of three persons. The ideal marriage likewise is a threesome community relationship consisting of a man, woman, and God. A threefold cord not easily broken.    

I have the privilege of spending time with several men whose marriages are almost as long as I am old. They gladly share their successes and failures learning to become better husbands and fathers with others. The below are some Biblical high-points which they reiterate more often with the younger men in our group.  Like most of them admit, they view these items from the rear-view mirror of life which is twenty-twenty vision. They only wish they had learned them much earlier in life.

The most important value which they all agree is being sure Jesus Christ is the center of both husband and wife and family affairs. When HE is the base of operations, there is an agreement in values and life purpose. Everything flows from there.

And just as important, marriage is a life-long commitment. The only way it ends is at death. With that understanding, both sides are in it for the long haul. They realize commitment is a Godly standard as HE has demonstrated over and over again HIS commitment to us. The Bible is loaded with examples where HE is always faithful to HIS people no matter what happens. He is always there restoring the relationship no matter how stupid we may behave. He is there for the long haul.

To stay committed, requires that both sides continue to communicate openly and honestly with each other. In the early years of their marriage, they would hide behind their fears. But as the two grew together, they learn to share and be transparent with each other. To accept the other for what God has designed and help the other person to become what GOD wants with them became their motivation. They want their marriage to be a witness for others how God behaves and acts in doing good work.

Of course, a majority of time communications will be about compromising one’s position for what is best for each other and the whole family. There will be battles, arguments, and heated exchange at times, but knowing each are committed to make the relationship work, will end with both sides reaching a mutual agreement. Both sides will take turns to sacrifice. Both sides will also pursue their goals. The outcome may not be ideal, but they will be glad to work it out together for the mutual benefit of all.

One of the biggest compromises will be about cash – how is the money going to flow. Who earns it, who controls it, and how it is going to be spent? The earlier this is resolved, the quicker and easier the marriage will prosper.

Another compromise will be about children. Again, the more honestly discussed upfront, the less surprises later in the marriage.

Lastly, find a faith community to keep each of you accountable to each other and family. When you live life with others within the faith community, you witness lives being transformed by Jesus Christ and you are constantly reminded what life’s endgame is all about. You and your children develop friendships and have a safe space to socialize with others who accept you and your values.

Marriage is hard work. Yet these men would do it all over again. Their only regret is learning the hard way. They wish someone would have shared what they know now with others. Hopefully, these words may help you in your marriage walk with God and your spouse as you live out your purpose serving God and others in preparation for life now and tomorrow’s new age.

Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Encourager & Author of e-Books

 *  Dancing With God: Life-Giving Theology Explained
 *  Great Business Emulates a Good God
 *  Be Radical…Follow Christ!
 *  Simply The Messenger
 *  Unequally Married

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