marriage

Substructures of Love

Dr. Mike 2022 , , , ,

Matthew 19:4-6

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So, they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Everything God created HE made from HIS inner character which includes the manifestation of love. HE created the universe because Love wanted a family to encircle the Triune God. He selected the planet earth and inhabited the third rock from the sun with various forms of life. He created a precise and interrelated world which would sustain human life.

When HE came to create man and woman, the planet was ready for them. So, HE created the first human in HIS image. Therefore, mankind reflects his Creator. God’s attributes are revealed through the thoughts, imagination, and actions of each person. Though each person only has a limited portion of HIS attributes, collectively they reveal who God IS.

Along the way though, us humans also discovered the power of choice. When we choose wisely after the character of our Creator, life works out for the better. However, when we choose contrary to the Master Designer, the outcome is opposite HIS character. The Bible defines the outcome as sin.

God reveals HIS important values by HIS actions as HE relates with others. When the first humans disobeyed HIS one and only command, their continence changed as they tasted a side of God without the character to manage the experience. Instead of trusting God to determine what is good and evil, they will now discover for themselves through trial and error. The result is a broken world constantly shifting between good and evil by the choice humans make.

From the beginning of time, two of the substructures put in place which demonstrates God’s love is found in marriage and family. God’s ordain form of marriage is between a man and woman. As Jesus stated, when married the two become one flesh. The apostle Paul latter wrote this same picture also highlights the mysterious relationship between Jesus and the Church.

When a man and woman enter marriage, they begin a monogamous relationship where they learn the importance and value of persevering commitment and sacrificial love. The Biblical examples are displayed between God and Israel. No matter how often the people of Israel disobeyed and rebelled, God continued HIS covenant with them. Israel may have often failed in the relationship, but God always performed HIS part of the relationship.

The family is also God’s way for building up a social network which is good for both the individual and community. Social studies have likewise demonstrated the value of having a two-parent family to raise children and being the overall structure best produces successful, healthy, and contributing individuals into society.

God didn’t expect everyone to marry and have children. There are those who are happy and productive being single and maintain healthy relationships with others. They learn the importance of commitment and love through their everyday relationships. However, marriage and family allow a greater blessing for children and the more demanding process of maturity growth between couples.

As this world tries to figure out a better way of living than what God has already ordained and proven over time, those of us who practice Judeo-Christian values already have seen, practiced, and witness the joy and fulfillment of living God’s “old-fashion” ways. Earth’s first parents stepped outside of God’s instructions and paid a heavy price. Some of us keep thinking we can outsmart God. I myself, admit having tried many times to outwit God, but I have always repented and turned back to HIM.

Over time, I have also learned HIS ways are better than any man or woman has developed since the beginning of time. So therefore, I am blessed beyond measure; not because of my brain trust, but because of my willingness to follow the God-Man who made all this possible for me. I hope you see the same. For then it would be a better world for everyone to live in.  

Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Encourager & Author of e-Books 

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Making Marriage Work

Dr. Mike 2021 , , , 
Hebrews 13:4

Marriage should be honored by all…

A recent poll by Time magazine revealed that twenty-five percent of millennials are likely never to marry and only six percent wanted a traditional marriage. The remaining majority either will choose to live together out of wedlock or remain single. On the other side, only six percent of married couples make it to their 50th anniversary.

Marriage, from a worldly view, is often looked at as a social construct rather than a God-ordained institution. As a Christ-follower though, marriage is the bedrock for social stability and spiritual growth. Within the partnership of another and Christ the center, one learns more effectively how to relate, work, and enjoy the richness of life from God’s perspective.

The Creator Being of the universe designed marriage for our good. However, people, like everything else we touch without God’s knowledge, have the tenancy to pervert and destroy what is good.

When two people grow together and become one, the relationship is a foretaste of the relationship lived out by our Triune God. God is Father-Son-Spirit in community with himself. One God consisting of three persons. The ideal marriage likewise is a threesome community relationship consisting of a man, woman, and God. A threefold cord not easily broken.    

I have the privilege of spending time with several men whose marriages are almost as long as I am old. They gladly share their successes and failures learning to become better husbands and fathers with others. The below are some Biblical high-points which they reiterate more often with the younger men in our group.  Like most of them admit, they view these items from the rear-view mirror of life which is twenty-twenty vision. They only wish they had learned them much earlier in life.

The most important value which they all agree is being sure Jesus Christ is the center of both husband and wife and family affairs. When HE is the base of operations, there is an agreement in values and life purpose. Everything flows from there.

And just as important, marriage is a life-long commitment. The only way it ends is at death. With that understanding, both sides are in it for the long haul. They realize commitment is a Godly standard as HE has demonstrated over and over again HIS commitment to us. The Bible is loaded with examples where HE is always faithful to HIS people no matter what happens. He is always there restoring the relationship no matter how stupid we may behave. He is there for the long haul.

To stay committed, requires that both sides continue to communicate openly and honestly with each other. In the early years of their marriage, they would hide behind their fears. But as the two grew together, they learn to share and be transparent with each other. To accept the other for what God has designed and help the other person to become what GOD wants with them became their motivation. They want their marriage to be a witness for others how God behaves and acts in doing good work.

Of course, a majority of time communications will be about compromising one’s position for what is best for each other and the whole family. There will be battles, arguments, and heated exchange at times, but knowing each are committed to make the relationship work, will end with both sides reaching a mutual agreement. Both sides will take turns to sacrifice. Both sides will also pursue their goals. The outcome may not be ideal, but they will be glad to work it out together for the mutual benefit of all.

One of the biggest compromises will be about cash – how is the money going to flow. Who earns it, who controls it, and how it is going to be spent? The earlier this is resolved, the quicker and easier the marriage will prosper.

Another compromise will be about children. Again, the more honestly discussed upfront, the less surprises later in the marriage.

Lastly, find a faith community to keep each of you accountable to each other and family. When you live life with others within the faith community, you witness lives being transformed by Jesus Christ and you are constantly reminded what life’s endgame is all about. You and your children develop friendships and have a safe space to socialize with others who accept you and your values.

Marriage is hard work. Yet these men would do it all over again. Their only regret is learning the hard way. They wish someone would have shared what they know now with others. Hopefully, these words may help you in your marriage walk with God and your spouse as you live out your purpose serving God and others in preparation for life now and tomorrow’s new age.

Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Encourager & Author of e-Books

 *  Dancing With God: Life-Giving Theology Explained
 *  Great Business Emulates a Good God
 *  Be Radical…Follow Christ!
 *  Simply The Messenger
 *  Unequally Married

Encourage a Friend…Share Today’s Message!

Copyright 2013-Present | Abbaco LLC | All Rights Reserved

30 is the Number

Dr. Mike Life Tools , ,

Proverbs 5:18 (NASB)

Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth.

thirty 1

From the Bible we find examples of the number thirty. Rabbi Dr. Hillel ben David in his article “The Significance of the Number Thirty” demonstrates the significance and ways “thirty” is showcased in the Bible. They include:

  • Thirty represents reconciliation at a higher level
  • Thirty was the age of strength
  • Thirty was the age one began their mission
  • Thirty days is a period of mourning for someone special
  • Thirty days is the totality of the moon’s lunar cycle
  • Thirty is a time of transition

Whatever the significance of thirty may or may not represent, the lesson for us married men is to invest in our relationship each and every day. In today’s, fast paced, convenient culture, time to buildup each other and strengthen relationships are sometimes (if not most the time) given second fiddle in our orchestra. So, one good game plan to implement each and every day is take the number ‘thirty’ to a whole higher level.

What if we would invest at least thirty-minutes of prayer time with our Lord in the morning, plus a thirty-minute one-on-one talk with our spouse, followed with a thirty-second hug with her each day? What impact would that employ to keep your marriage alive and strong for the long term?

We all get busy at times and usually our relationships suffer. This may be a simple method for those of us who are super active and need the discipline to make time for the real important people in life. It has worked wonders for over thirty-five years with my marriage. And I’m sure it will for you.

Rooting For You in Christ!

Dr. Mike

Encourager & Founder of
Vocational Leadership 360
Author of e-Books:

*  Dancing With God: Life-Giving Theology Explained
*  Great Business Emulates a Good God
*  Be Radical…Follow Christ!
*  Simply The Messenger
*  Unequally Married

Encourage a Friend…Share Today’s Message!

Copyright 2013-2018 Abbaco LLC | All Rights Reserved